Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
how does that bad decision feel?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
