So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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