I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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