omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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