Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
