This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I pour the whiskey from now on
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
PANTIES FOUND
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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