What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
