Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
