Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
