Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
