I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
