He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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