my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
