Screwed.edu
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
