BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
