i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
