i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
