What a fucking waste of an outfit
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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