i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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