I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
