she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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