We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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