Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
