thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
