I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I have post one night stand depression
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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