Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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