To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
