I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize