Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
