We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
