rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We just shotgunned beers for America
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I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
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Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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