Its about making memories worth repressing
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
