I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
