Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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