I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
