I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
