I feel like abortions should bother me more
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
