Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
