I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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