Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
