I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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