So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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