That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
