Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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