she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
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Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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