the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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