Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
