Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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