I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
