Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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