Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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