If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
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