Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
