There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
