Me. At least after what I've been through.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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