my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Randomize
