Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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