I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
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It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize