i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
